Saturday, July 26, 2008

Blog link: http://www.huihui21cool.blogspot.com
I . I will analyse the following through her blog:
ü Self concept
ü Self esteem
ü Social self
Firstly, self concept is the collection of knowledge of him/herself, which is basically how you see yourself as. By asking yourself a simple question ‘who am I’ and you can find out how much do you understand yourself, be it in the aspect of personality, physical appearance, values, personal believes, natural talent and abilities.
Self concept can be dependent by several factors:
1) Self schemas
2) Culture
3) Self knowledge
Schemas are mental forms that organize our knowledge about the social world around themes or subjects and that influence the information people notice, think about, and remember. Hence, self schemas are basically categorizing a person’s own personalities, qualities and strengths, weaknesses and then the person defines what type of person he wants to be. From her ‘profile’ list, she mentioned that she likes to ‘emo for a small issue’ which is what she find her personality to be, which is to fret over small matters. This can be confirm by several posts e.g. 13th July, 16th July 2008 , 19th July 2008 and 21st July 2008. She repeatedly mentioned that she is ‘emo’ (emotional). This may perhaps be partly contributed by self-fulfilling prophecy where she assume herself as an emotional person and thus, in all these posts, she kept emphasizing that she is going through the emotional period again.
For cultural differences in definition of self, people from Asian and non-western countries will most probably have an interdependent view of him/herself. This is where people define themselves primarily in terms of their relationships with other people and they recognize that one’s behavior is often determined by the thoughts, feelings and actions of others. From Hui Hui’s blog, I can infer that she is always being bullied by others as she defined some of her hates as ‘people who think that cheating her is fun’, ‘ being hurt’ and also ‘being treated like an idiot’. This fulfills the definition of interdependent view of herself as she her thoughts of self-protection are based on other people who may previously bully her or hurt her emotionally in one way or another.
Through Hui Hui’s blog, I can feel that she is very certain about what she likes for instance, her idols, singing which are her hobbies and also physical products such as strawberries and pink dolphin. She designed her blog in the way that she posted a lot of her idol’s pictures, youtube videos and even songs. From her post on 15th July 2008, after her friends repeatedly asking her why she kept on chasing idol which is being impractical, it serves as an introspection. Now, she is fully aware that chasing idols is being impractical and become more self conscious about her actions. However, she feels that chasing idols is an intrinsic motivation as she treats this as a support in her life that keeps her happy.
Next, I shall use the social comparison theory. As I had mentioned above that she feels that she is always bullied by others, she may feel inferior when she compare herself to other people. This can be further seen on the 16th July 2008 entry.
“maybe it is because I am too useless to be independent, I am just so useless. Don’t you think so, bloggy (the name she gives to her blog), I am always pouring my sorrows on you. I have never think how sorry you will feel =[[[[[[There are too many things in this world that i am afraid to face it. Maybe I am just too gutless, too timid. Or maybe I should just go out and knock myself in this world. Even I will end up to be wounded, it doesn’t matter. Keep going on, Hui Hui!
I think that everything is unfair in this world. Maybe that’s why some people’s lives are always peaceful and straight, while some are so risky and disordered. Maybe i should learn to venture on my own, not just hiding in a corner and cry like a weakling. I am not weak. I shouldn’t be so vulnerable anymore. So to all my friends, remind me not to be weak. I am SUPPOSED TO BE MAN AND STRONG AND INDEPENDENT. I HAVE TO BE WHAT I HAVE TO BE.
I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO CRY OR SOB, NOT TO HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES. Most probably over all these years, my tears had already been accumulated, and they are now rushing out themselves. Since young, i never like to cry in front of others and I think I shouldn’t be crying infront of others also. I am strong and so that people can depend on me. I am a cheerful person.” – translated from huihui21cool.blogspot.com
She feels that her life is not as good as others. She do not wish be inferior in other people’s eyes but she personally feels that she is uncomparable to the others. “I think that everything is unfair in this world. Maybe that’s why some people’s lives are always peaceful and straight, while some are so risky and disordered.” This is an example of upward social comparision whereby she compares her life with other person who lead a more ‘peaceful’ life. This had caused her to be more motivated and strive towards her own better life, to be independent and strong.
Next, I will like to talk about her self-esteem. Self esteem is our overall self-evaluation or sense of self worth. From her high aim of GPA 4.0 (from her wish list) , I feel that she has high self-esteem in terms of her academic as she can confidently post on a public blog and say that she wants to achieve a high gpa of 4.0. However, from her post on 16th July 1008 entry (translated above), I can see that she feel very useless and hence, she do not have very high self-esteem.
In general, I feel that most of the time, she is very positive about her life, as she will share about her friends, and her enjoyable experiences in school, in CCA etc. However, in her inner heart, she yearns for someone that can understand her and someone she can depend on. From her way that she likes her idols, I feel that she is pinning hope on these idols as an ‘emotional support’.



haha above
i blog for tan si ting de
haha
she sae mux put
so i put loh
actually
i quite agreeed lah
haha to how much extent don tel u
hahaah
lalala
erm but quite true
but
stil i love my wangzi ( 邱胜翊）
haha
bb

6:01 PM,
love is floating in the air